My Best Friend has left the building

Well she is gone. And I miss her.  Its been 13 days. She is in Australia, which honestly makes it difficult to really speak. It is either early morning for her, and she needs to get herself together for her day (and late for us) or late for her and early for us.  It does seem that she is making her way and I am hopeful that on the weekend she will have a bit longer for a conversation as she does not have to get to her school, the University of Queensland. 

Leaving was complicated as her entire first flight was cancelled, which is a big deal when you plan was to spend the next 24 hours traveling. But she was on her way on July 9th and that went as smoothly as a flight of that length can be. The time zone differences and the marathon flight took its toll, but Cara has rallied. She is meeting people from all over the world and is busy learning more cooking skills, her way around Brisbane and the university. 

It is interesting because I think she will not recognize the changes in herself until much later, not just the confidence in traveling but in how she interacts with the world. 

 

So what did happen after all?

 So what has happened

Takotsubo-  The biggest surprise and not in a good way. A bad, bad way. Not exactly how I was set to start off my year of freedom! .  A little trip down to see Michael brining his brother and his friend Will.  It was hot 96 degrees with very high humidity.  I set off on what the ranger had told me was a 5.2 mile hike in the Shenandoah National Park.  I experienced what i thought was heat exhaustion but what turned out to be heart failure. I was only in the hospital for one night, but it shook my confidence deeply.

Mindy and Family visit- When I was in the hospital they arrived. I was released and sat in the backyard that night.  It was a warm July night and it was nice to sit outside surrounded by family. Life goes on. 

  Mark's car accident - a phone call from Mark's phone. A woman.  She couldn't hear me and disconnected. I was alarmed, he had just left for school.  I called Steve and he thought maybe Mark had just lost his phone.  10 minutes later and its Steve telling me that the police had reached him and that Mark was in a serious car accident. Another major concussion. 3 days in the hospital. 

Matt Moves to Manhattan - His plan to wait a few years to move did not not pan out. His classmate found a nice relatively affordable Manhattan apartment and he was off to new adventures.  I miss him, but he is good about coming home and saying in touch. 

France - Cara, oh Cara "Can I go to Paris for NYE?"  turned into Michael, Chris, Cara and myself spending 10 days in France split between Strasburg and Paris.  Cold but truly beautiful. 

Surgery - Nightmare, recovery was tough. The acute phases were expected but the lingering effects were disheartening. I put on weight from not moving around and it is not budging.  

U of R drama and lake house- Cara's roommates turned on her. It was maybe the most heartbreaking thing I had ever seen.   I rented us a house so she could get a break. It was beautiful and right on the lake in VA. Cara has unbelievable grace under fire. 

Mahjong- Finally found a group to play with and then jumped in to a continuing ed class with Pat. I can say I know the rules but maybe not the strategy. 

Vespa- we bought a Vespa. We had been considering this but it became more real when we realized we had more car demand than cars. Michael has been successfully using it down at Richmond.  Maybe driving too fast but he is pretty good at driving it. 

RIT Graduation- Chris graduated though he is still at RIT, he has learned and grown up so much I can hardly recognize him, though his laid back and kind vibe always shine through. Michael and Cara were able to make it and we had a fun weekend. We hit the museum of play and had a nice dinner at Limoncellos. 

Motorcycle License Cara and Michael got there ML and then Steve and I did!  What a hard class that lasted all weekend. Steve and I were both nervous that we didn't pass, but indeed we both got almost perfect scores!  Crazy. 

Mindy/Ella Visit- Mindy came back with just her daughter .  It was a fun weekend. We saw the Great Gatsby and the girls got in a surf lesson. We hosted a little bbq and the whole family got together . It was really nice. 

Nicaragua - After dropping Michael off at college and RIT grad I needed a quick getaway.  Cara and I went on a yoga/surf trip.  It was interesting, With the cold plunge and the sweat lodge and the cacao ceremony. 

Joe's Wedding - a few day trip to great old MB.  Chris was the only one that couldn't make it. We stayed in a condo on the beach.  The wedding was fun and so was all of the MB classics. Matt Varney joined us for a bit which was fun. Our flight home was cancelled, a first for me. We rallied and made the most of our situation. 

Camera -Picked up a camera at Dick's Pawn shop in Myrtle Beach. From Guns to diamond rings. 

High School? Leaving my dear friends? They love and respect me. I will miss them so much.  At the HS I think I will be the only therapist of any kind. It could be lonely. But I would only be going to my school 2 days per week.  I think I should roll the dice, if only because I love rolling the dice. 

Ok, 25% of the events so far were bad. 13% were decisions that were/are consuming. 30% involved travel. All involved learning. Learning Mahjong, camera basics, the history of play, what my nieces and nephews are up to, how to drive a motorcycle, what cacao ceremony is, how the people of Nicaragua are doing, bird identification (though not included I started going to Audubon events), what Takotsubo is and how it is treated, what Townsend Harris is like, the history of play, I saw Paris and learned more about my families origin, I was reminded of the great story telling in the Great Gatsby, and how awesome the beach is. 

I read about free diving, cosmology, oceanography, the life of plants and how they feel and their intelligence, I have explored the natural world through books and watching. I hope my camera takes me further in to the natural world. 

Coming up

Porch

Cara leaves

Letch worth State Park

North South Lake

The Castle at Consensus NY, Letchworth State Park

Just a Trip to the Park

I had heard that Letchworth state park was the "Grand Canyon of the East".  So with Chris wrapping up his time at RIT we should try to get up there. We did.  The park though not quite living up to the tag line was indeed beautiful.  Lots of photo opportunities. 

The Castle at Consensus

However it never held a candle to the Airbnb that I found.  It of course starts out with me trying to find cheap digs for a quick getaway, when this beauty caught my eye.  Billed a castle and coming in at $546  for the entire 3 nights well I was warily sold.  I booked and got denied followed by a message asking us to rebook using the sight unseen small group booking option. Fine. I warned the traveling party that I had no idea what to expect. 

We drove up to the 110,000 square foot decommissioned monastery. It sits on 20 acres and is abutted by a nature preserves and state lands. We were met around the back in front of the 6 bay garage and shown our rooms. Threes separate rooms on the third floor with private bathrooms. A shared kitchen and communal sitting area. The dogs were allowed to run free in the building and out. The sheets were clean and the bathrooms looked clean enough. It was dusty and worn-out. There was an amazing amount of stuff everywhere from an old car parked on the patio to boats, a crane, motorcycles. Inside was antiques and old plastic toys.   We stayed on the building to the left, on the right were "private residences" There was also a huge guest house, a pavilion. 

Get on the Bus, Forget About Us and Put the Blame on Me

There was a bus with a stone wall built around it. There were chickens and cats And there were crumbling grottos in the woods .  Actual grottos, some several rooms big. 

Crumbling Grottos-Seriously

 

The Devil Went Down to Dansville

I don't think that I can actually leave this post without mentioning Dansville, Tina Markle who apparently is making deals with the actual devil.  Not to mention the town as a whole which is involved with not just the KuKlukKlan but the Mafia and the illuminati, pretty impressive for such a small town. Which a may have believed if it wasn't the accusation against Martin Luther , of Lutheranism fame ,was a member of the Kukulkan as well. Now here is where I draw the line. 

An altogether creepy and fun time was had.  I have to mention that this trip was not for the delicate. The place we stayed at was fascinating but not luxurious by anyone's definition. I am grateful that everyone in my family can handle tough situations, I believe it helps us have a wider variety of experiences.  I am also grateful for the dogs. They make everything more fun.  They loved hiking off leash and the freedom to roam the building. Jo was a trooper and they both hiked miles in the heat and were ready for more.

The name of this blog is the worst.

 

The name of this blog is abhorrent.  What was I thinking? Who was the person who was looking to rhyme so badly that she reached to these depths?  Its hard to know.  Well it seems this same person just does not have the tech savvy to undue this embarrassment but it is a fitting punishment, having to live with this name eternally.  So that those thousands of people that are sure to read this blog can hold me in eternal judgement as they should.  

The sabbatical has been approved after some paperwork snafu that I tried gallantly with the help of my tech savvy son to straighten out  from the jungles of Costa Rica  resulted in a denial.  However minimal perseverance eventually turned that denial into an approval.  I was having second thoughts to say the least.  A year on my own.  To do what exactly?  I made lists and really still felt like I would be filling time, trying to make the day pass.   Sounded tedious at best.  I like being purposeful, I like getting dressed in the morning and getting shit done.   My identity  for longer than even being a mom has definitely been a hard worker.  The world is crashing around me, I still had to go to work, emotional breakdown well still gotta go to work, bad news? good news? exhaustion?  work.  The answer was work. Predictable , stable always there even if unlikeable.  Like a bad boyfriend. Its what you know.  A comfort. 

I often feel I have to justify my existence.   Not that I have been actually asked to, no one ever has said "what do you bring to the table, mom? " no never happened.  What does anyone bring to the table, well actually my husband does bring a lot to the table, its kind of exhausting actually.   I don't even want to stop at the grocery store. He'll go at 10PM because he doesn't want the kids to not have eggos the next morning. I think it maybe good for them not to have the damn eggos or perhaps learn to purchase eggos on their own.  So I don't see that changing.   What I am hoping to change is my fear of creativity.  In whatever form .  Obviously writing  will be one front I attack.  Another will be upping my commitment to my Teachers Pay Teachers store. 

I have 9 days left of work and for now I am tired. Like really tired. So creativity will be of low energy  variety which I think will work.  Lynn as an independent adult 

Waiting for Approval

Well that could be the title of my life, but less profoundly I am actually  waiting to see if my request for a study sabbatical will be approved.  I thought that documenting my time away from the NYC Public Schools would be, fun?  So here I am.  

I took a brief look at some other sabbatical blogs and lets just say I am so very grateful that this will not be a competition, because I have already lost.  The pictures and the travel!  The self improvement and the discovery!  Then who knows...maybe I too will be a shiny, happy person at the end of this experience! 

My plans for travel are negligible, for many reasons.  

1. I didn't win the lottery and I am bit long in the tooth for a hostel. 
2. I like my life here
3. To go deep, I don't feel compelled to go far. 
4. I'd miss my doggies! 
5. I like my family
6. There is so much here that I want to do. 

I think the first and foremost that will have to improve is my photography.  I have taken up a very casual bird watching interest but so far I have not capture a single good picture of a bird and some of these birds have been still and inches from me. I could just take from the stock photos and say this is the bird that I saw!  This is the body I feel like I have now that I ate a salad!  This is how my garden may look one day!  I think I'm onto something here. 

However is another issue with the sabbatical blogging competition is that my interests are fairly pedestrian.  You know, family, a bit of baking, a bit of gardening, a bit or knitting (any itty bit of knitting as I'm really bad at it).  In fact written out it is clear that my calling was to be maybe a pioneer  or an Amish woman. 

My sabbatical theme is pretty straight forward; do less of what I don't want to do and more of what I do and try to shut down the whiny, nonstop guild for not living up to an expectation that only exists in my mind that I constantly try to reinforce by the media I chose to consume to feed my guilt, which though not fun is at least familiar. 

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